When Moving Forward Feels Hard: Finding Your Way

By Jaimie Hutchison, LPC

As a counselor, I often sit with people in moments when life has shifted unexpectedly — and painfully. Sometimes the change is sudden. Sometimes it comes with celebration for some and deep hurt for others. People lose jobs, relationships fracture, trust erodes, or the ground simply feels unsteady. In those moments, it’s common to wonder: How do I keep going when everything feels so heavy? Is it okay to move forward when others are still hurting? How do I care for myself — and others — when it all feels too much? 

Why “Normal” Feels So Hard

When you’ve been through something stressful, disruptive, or even traumatic, your body and mind respond in protective ways. This is about emotions, but also about your nervous system. You may feel numb, disconnected, on edge, or even guilty that you can still go through the motions while others are struggling. From a trauma-informed perspective, this is your body and brain doing what they’re designed to do: survive. 

Returning to “normal” can feel difficult or even impossible at first. That’s okay. You’re not broken — you’re responding to something hard. 

Building Safety Nets

One principle of trauma-informed care is to prioritize safety — physical, emotional, and relational — for yourself and those around you. Here are some ways to build that safety net when life feels hard: 

For Yourself:

• Slow down: Give yourself permission to pause and feel what you’re feeling. There is no deadline for what you are feeling.

• Stay connected: Isolation amplifies distress. Even small moments of connection — a text, a walk with a friend — matter.

• Ground yourself: Use your senses — notice what you can see, hear, feel — to help bring your nervous system back to the present.

• Seek support: Whether from a therapist, a group, or trusted people in your life, you don’t have to navigate this alone. 

For Others:

• Listen without fixing: Simply witnessing someone’s experience without rushing to “solve it” can be profoundly healing. 

• Offer choices: Empowering people to make their own decisions — even small ones — helps restore a sense of control. 

• Be patient: Everyone processes at their own pace. 

Moving Forward With Compassion

It is possible — and healthy — to keep living your life while still holding space for those who are hurting. From a trauma-informed perspective, healing is not about pretending nothing happened or minimizing pain — it’s about integrating what happened into your story, and carrying it forward with care. You can feel moments of joy even while others are grieving. You can move forward and still remain attuned to the needs of your community. You don’t have to choose between your own wellbeing and your compassion for others. 

You’re Not Alone

If you’re reading this and feeling overwhelmed or unsure what to do next: it’s okay to not have all the answers right now. Take your time. Be kind to yourself. Reach out to others. Healing — individually and collectively — happens when we feel safe, seen, and supported. When the world feels uncertain, the most courageous thing you can do is keep showing up for yourself and those around you, as you are able to.